Tom Cruise Sees You
Why is he insistent on transforming his wife into some weird 50s housewife robot? It's creepy. Here's Tom Cruise, wife Katie Holmes and their daughter Suri watching David Beckham play soccer. Tom's movie Valkyrie'srelease date has been pushed back again.
The movie, a true story in which Tom plays a Nazi planning to kill Adolph Hitler, had already been pushed to autumn despite the initial release being set for this summer. Now it's set for sometime in 2009. Straight to DVD! Clearance bin!
The movie has had a lot of issues, including damaged film, lukewarm test screenings, and concern over Tom's German accent. Tom Cruise ist verrückt und schwul. Mine's ok, though.
SplashNewsOnline.comMore photos of Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and the kids taking in an L.A. Galaxy game after the jump.
Celebs Walk
Here's Halle Berry looking debabied at the Revlon Run/Walk for Women at the at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. You know she did not want to be there. She was joined by Tom Selleck and Jesse McCartney. And Melissa Manchester! Send in the clowns! That bitch is eternal! Don't cry out loud! Keep it inside! Learn how to disguise your feeeeeeelings!
WENN16 more photos from the 15th Annual EIF Revlon Run/Walk for Women featuring Halle Berry, Tom Selleck, Carrie Anne Inaba, John Hensley, Jesse McCartney, Deidre Hall and Melissa Manchester are after the jump.
Jenna Bush Got Married
First Daughter Jenna Bush got hitched. She married Henry Hager, whom she met while work on her father's 2004 re-electiion campaign. Well at least something nice came out of that. Dick Cheney managed not to shoot anybody in the face during the wedding.
The couple were married just before sundown beside a lake at the President's 1,600 acre Prairie Chapel ranch in Crawford, Texas. The bride and her mother Laura Bush wore Oscar De La Renta, who is a personal friend of the family. The got married in front of a limestone cross and altar which will remain as a permanent part of the property. Jenna's twin sister Barbara served as the maid of honor.
Jenna's the first daughter of an active President to be married in 16 years.
"This is a joyous occasion for our family, as we celebrate the happy life ahead of (Jenna) and her husband, Henry," the president said in his weekly radio broadcast Saturday morning. "It's also a special time for Laura, who this Mother's Day weekend will watch a young woman we raised together walk down the aisle."
Wasn't Jenna a crazy drunken slut when she was younger? Way to clean up, babe.
Jennifer Aniston And John Mayer Splash Around
Jennifer Aniston is getting laid! John Mayer made a return visit to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Miami to hang out with her. She's still living there while filming that dog movie. Apparently, she's learned something since Brad Pitt left her and she now knows how to do a man right. Or my initial theory is correct, and Mayer is a gay attention whore and realizes being seen with her insures flashbulbs for days.
The two pieces of dry toast worked out and then went for a swim.
SplashNewsOnline.com/BauerGriffinOnline18 more photos of a bikini clad Jennifer Aniston and a shirtless John Mayer in Miami are after the jump.
Jennie Garth Is Kelly Taylor!
Ok, you know that. But Kelly Taylor is coming back! Praise Jaysus! Jennie Garth will reprise her role as West Beverly High's second biggest bitch in the 90210 spinoff coming to the CW. If they can do a storyline as random and awesome as when she got caught in the fire with the lesbian, I am so onboard for this one.
Kelly Taylor will apparently be working as guidance counselor at West Beverly High in the new show. Can you imagine her guidance?
"Listen, young lady, I was raped, shot, joined a cult, burned, had amnesia, was taken hostage by a psychotic roommate and did some teen modeling. I know you're nervous about what college you're going to get into, but get over yourself. You don't know what drama is."
Jennie dropped out of a CBS pilot last month to do this show. Smart. You know the rest of the old cast is chomping at the friggin' bit to get a part in this crap. Except for Hilary Swank. I think she's all set.
If the new show can have scenes as 1/2 as cheesy as when Dylan and Kelly told Brenda they were banging, it will be amazing.
WENN
David Archuleta's Dad Is Banned David Archuleta's wackjob stage Dad has been banned from the backstage area over at American Idol. The ultimate stage dad, Jeff Archuleta finally pushed the producers too far when he made David insert a lyric from Sean Kingston's "Beautiful Girls" into his performance of "Stand By Me" the other night. This guy is hands-on. You know the belt comes out if David gets a bad review from the judges. Jeff needs to have some of what Paula's drinking and sit the f*ck down.
Producers told Jeff that David shouldn't do that, because they would have problems with the Sean's publisher. Jeff ignored them. Hence the boot. He's still allowed to sit in on live performances though.
Pops Archuleta wasn't available for comment, but "a friend" said he's finding reports to the matter to be "tiring." His son must be tired, too. From all the beatings!
Scott Speedman Forgoes The Spandex
Here's Scott Speedman out biking. Everything seems fairly normal until he gets to the bench and starts rocking out with his earphones. Then I expect him to start talking about the Burger Barn and inviting me to his party.
Scott's starring in this new flick called The Strangers with Liv Tyler. It looks scary as hell. Anytime someone in a movie puts on a grotesque mask, I'm checking under the bed that night. This one is a remake of a foreign movie that was supposely based on a true story about random strangers who attacked a young couple one night. Probably an urban legend. Watch the trailer here. Watch until the end for the reason why they attacked the couple. I'm sleeping with the lights on.
Photos: BauerGriffinOnline.com9 more photos of Scott Speedman biking through Los Angeles are after the jump.
Salma Hayek Had Love Pouring Out Of Her
No, that's how she put it. Here's Salma Hayek holding her seventh-month-old daughter Valentina Paloma Pinault at LAX. Salma says that Valentina's birth taught her how to love again.
"When she was born the amount of love that started pouring out of me was completely pure. Anything anyone ever did to me was erased by this energy," Hayek said.
No, sweetie, that was afterbirth. Some people save it in jars. Sick! Salma also said that Valentina already sounds as french as her daddy, billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault.
"You learn so much, just by listening to her. She makes a strange noise like a purr, or a rolled r. It's the French in her. It's hilarious!"
Soon she'll be sneering at Americans trying to order in English at bistros. Zoot alors!
Photos: BauerGriffinOnline.comMore photos of Salma Hayek and baby Valentina Paloma Pinault are after the jump.
Whitney Houston Lucid In London
Whitney Houston really seems to have put the pipe away for good. She performed at London's Battersea Park on Thursday night and was reportedly in fine form.
Houston reportedly "looked and sounded amazing," and was "fantastic," according to an audience member.
Her name is not Susan performed at the Caudwell Children Legends Ball, and did a set of her greatest hits. Houston performed "The Greatest Love Of All," "I Wanna Dance With Somebody," and "My Love Is Your Love" among others. She even brought her daughter Bobbi Kristina out to duet on that last song with her? Bobbi Kristina can sing? Hey, as long as she's not trying injure herself, we're cool.
Houston is working on her "comeback" album with longtime friend and mentor Clive Davis and no longer getting high on crack cocaine and visiting gas stations wearing fur coats at 3 AM. She's really turning it around.
Lindsay Lohan Leggs Up
Lindsay Lohan caused a stir on Robertson Blvd. yesterday when she did the stroll accompanied by two models. The girls were showing off Lindsay's new lines of leggings, called "6126." Lohan's been known for always wearing the gross things, so now she's making some money off her signature fashion laziness. Note that one of the models has leggings with knee pads. Need I say more?
Lohan advertised for models to display her wares and expected the girls to do it for free:
"The Look Book Shoot for 6126 - a new contemporary collection of leggings designed by Lindsay Lohan... Looking for diverse, multi-cultural, mixed races, an 'off beauty' is good as well as 'beautiful'... Rate: trade'".
'Trade" reportedly translates as "free." She's so out of money. It all went up her nose! She needs to steal more shit and pawn it! And what hooker is going to buy these gross things? Lohan's ad reportedly requested that "no blondes" try out. I guess that one chick snuck her way in. Lohan should be grateful that she even got anybody. Seriously, leggings with knee pads. Just wear your rates on a sign around your neck.
Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.comWENN
12 more photos of Lindsay Lohan and her leggings after the jump.
Alanis Morissette Hit Rock Bottom
You would too. She used to be able to rest her head on Ryan Reynolds' rock-hard abs. Then they broke off their engagement last year. Alanis Morrisette and his abs, I mean. And now he's engaged to Scarlett Johansson! That bitch can't sing! At least not about giving head in a theater! Alanis Morrisette says that she "hit rock bottom" last year.
She says she had to take a break due to "a personal unraveling of significant relationships in my life." Oh honey, just say it. Ryan took off and you were devastated. I would be, too. Look at that body.
Her new album, Flavors of Entanglement, hits on June 10 (J. Harvey's birthday!), and it's how she worked through her issues she says. That, and everything from "pounding pillows" (with Scarjo's face on them) to "sharing with intimate friends." So she f*cked her way back. Good for her.
Alanis hasn't lost her faith in love, though.
"Oh yeah. My nature is always hope filled. It's more about values matching now. That's the foundation," she says. Oh shit, she joined EHarmony? Those bitches are homophobic and I'm disappointed in Alanis now.
The Canadian songstress says she's dating someone but declined to reveal who. It's totally George Glass.
Photos: SplashNewsOnline.com
Heidi Montag Freed From The Burden Of Lauren Conrad's Friendship Heidi Montag got her ass on the Ellen show, and told her that no longer being fake friends with Lauren Conrad is a "weight off my shoulders." You'd feel even lighter if you took those plastic domes off your chest, moron. The interview will air on Monday.
I seriously feel for the TV hosts who have to speak to this broad.
"Towards the end of our relationship she was just always yelling at me and nagging at me because she didn't like my boyfriend [Spencer Pratt]," Montag said. No one likes your boyfriend, Heidi.
Heidi says that Lauren had a boyfriend that she "didn't like" for several years, but she kept her yap shut. She thought it better that the two just "go our own ways." I'm sure the writers did, too. Heidi said that the recent journalistic integrity-destroying Rolling Stonecover that featured all the Hills girls was "awkward." Yeah, well, fake friendships designed for TV and passed off as "real" will do that.
Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com
Paris Hilton Plays Games
The heiress has announced that she's turned over a new leaf...again. Remember how she acted like she was going to be all Paris Plain and Tall after she was released from jail and that she would only do good and party solely in the name of the Lord? Well now she's claiming that she totally, seriously means it when she says she's no longer partying like she used to.
The shiny heiress claims that her relationship with her boyfriend Benji Madden has turned her into a homebody. "We don't really like to go out. We have game night where friends come over and play Monopoly."
Oh, how quaint. Snorting lines off Park Place sounds like a fun way to spend a quiet night in.
Photos: WENNMore photos of Paris Hilton and Benji Madden outside the Late Show with David Letterman studios after the jump.
Gwyneth Paltrow Is Well-Heeled
The Iron Man actress has been spotted traipsing around Europe in super high heels and the influence of these photos has been made most apparent by the rise in sales of that style of show. Various British retailers have reported an increase of consumer purchases in high-heeled shoes for women. In fact, the difference has been so noticeable that the result is being loosely called the "Gwyneth Effect" and has earned the Hollywood actress a commercial endorsement for Italian shoe designer Tods.
I love her dress and the shoes are quite striking, but seriously, is it worth risking breaking a bone to be walking around on cobblestone in those crazy foot daggers? If this keeps up, we can look forward to more pictures like this. It's all fun and games until someone loses and eye.
Photos: INFDaily.comMore photos of Gwyneth Paltrow and her heels are after the jump.
R. Kelly Finally Headed To Court
R. Kelly's child pornography case is finally set to go to court after a six-year delay.
The news that jury selection would begin today came after yet another attempt from R. Kelly's legal team to delay the trial. The presiding judge ruled that the jury selection would begin after just a short recess.
The Chicago Times also put R. Kelly in headlines today after reporting that one of the singer's aides allegedly paid off an Atlanta woman for the safe return of a sex tape featuring R. Kelly that is separate from the tape of the court case. It is unknown if R. Kelly was personally involved with the deal.
As far as the current case goes, the 23-year-old woman allegedly in the tape is expected to testify that she is not the 13-year-old in the video.
This photo leads me to believe that they are going to use the difference in boob size to demonstrate the mistaken identity. Because obviously a 13-year-old's body wouldn't look much different after 10 years.
(Please accept my sarcastic non-humor as a way of holding back and not completely tearing apart this innocent-until-proven-guilty skeezbucket who I whole-heartedly believe needs to be off our streets and rotting in jail.)
R. faces up to 15 years in prison if he is convicted of the charges.
Photos: WENN
Justin Timberlake Brings Sexy to Television
Well sort of. You won't get to see Justin himself on the tube.
JTimb will be producing a new show for MTV that's being touted as a "real-life bourne identity." The show, called The Phone, has an interesting concept.
Two phones are hidden at two sides of a city. They will ring at the exact same time. Whoever picks up will have 5 seconds to agree to the terms, and then the person is sent on a wild goose chase around the city while they are followed by helicopter.
If the person succeeds, they win a "huge cash prize."
Interesting, but will it work? I can just see someone picking up the phone and being like "You're crazy. CLICK!" Then there wouldn't be much for Justin to produce.
The show is based off of a highly successful Dutch series, but we'll have to wait and see if America will be eating this reality treat up as much as it does those crazy Hills kids.
Photos: WENN
DMX Arrested Again
Isn't that kind of his niche in the hip-hop arena? Always getting arrested? And who down at the animal rescue league is still letting this crazy adopt dogs? It's like Canine Holocaust up in his house? Is it the Michael Vickers Animal Rescue League? DMX was arrested at 3AM this morning at his him in Cave Creek, Arizona. He was charged with seven misdemeanor counts of animal cruelty and four felony drug possession charges.
DMX reportedly barricaded himself in his bedroom when the police came to take him in. Police found weapons, drugs, and five pitbull puppies as they were searching the premises, so they were able to bring additional charges against him.
DMX eventually exited the boudoir and was arrested and booked. The dogs are all set, and will be taken care of by female inmates at First Avenue Jail. Interesting inmate work program. The story is still developing but it already feels like it's on a repeat cycle.
Photos: WENN
Emile Hirsch Still Taking Weird Photos
This dude encounters some weird art directors who like him to splash about topless and do weird things with his hair. Emile Hirsch stars inSpeed Racer, which opens this weekend. I think it looks boss, but I have serious maturity problems. But insiders are saying the film has some issues that could contribute to it tanking at the box office.
The film is reportedly two hours and fifteen minutes long, which might dissuade the kids portion of the audience. Because who wants Junior hopped up on that much candy and soda? He'll kill you in your sleep! And in contrast to that, the insiders are also saying that the film should have been "aged up" more as right now it will only appeal to young boys. Make up your minds, Hollywood insiders! Damn. Everyone has an opinion.
More of Emile Hirsch from Flaunt Magazine after the jump.
Kim Kardashian Has A Mission For Burma
I watched this...and it's Kim Kardashian trying to do good....but her giant ass was just so PRESENT in that incredibly tight tube dress she puts on. And she keeps making jokes about how dumb she is. And her sisters are mocking her. And listening to the Kardashian sisters discuss Burma's current political climate in those airhead Hills voices...the juxtapositioning was just too much! It's like listening to Britney Spears talk about Darfur. DOES. NOT. COMPUTE. Uh, good job there, Kim?
Angelina Jolie Fills Up The U-Haul
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are planning for the long haul in France. Angelina has reportedly had the majority of their family's things shipped over to their rented villa in Saint Jean Cap Ferrat. Angie wants all the surroundings of home in place for when she gives birth to the couple's twin daughters.
Their kids reportedly love the beach being right down the street and they've had Brad's motorcycle shipped over so Brad can explore the French countryside. And pick up chicks.
And where were these items shipped from? New Orleans? Lousiana? Africa? Burma? Bangladesh? Do they have one base of operations? I recently read this hot book called Savage Grace. In it, this socialite couple and their gay son lived all over the world during the 1960s and never heard of jobs. It reminds me of how Brad and Angie live, always traveling. Of course, it ended with the husband leaving with a younger woman, and the mother sleeping with the son and the son snapping and killing her. True story. Jesus, this post just got morbid. I'm sure that's not going to happen to Brad and Angie. Enjoy France, you guys!
Photos: SplashNewsOnline.comMore photos of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt with their kids in Saint Jean Cap Ferrat, France after the jump.
BREAKING NEWS! Nick Hogan Heading To Jail For 8 Months Right Now!
Photos: SplashNewsOnline.com
Here's how TMZ called it:
UPDATE 3:47 ET: And here's the sentence ... EIGHT MONTHS IN PINELLAS COUNTY JAIL, STARTING RIGHT NOW.
UPDATE 3:45 ET: Judge withholds adjudication!!! But judge points out that sorry ain't the hardest word here ...
UPDATE 3:40 ET: And now, the big ones: adjudication and incarceration. Did you see that big gulp that Nick just took?
